The holidays are typically a time for family cheer, love, happiness, and reuniting with loved ones that you may only see on rare occasion.  But, what if you see something that bothers you?

Domestic violence, abuse, stalking, child endangerment, and the like are never easy to discuss, especially during the holidays.  But, the holidays bring people together, and may present prime opportunity to witness suspicious behavior.  We may not feel that it’s our business or our place to comment on this—but it is.  When a loved one is the victim of abuse or domestic violence, even at the hand of another loved one, someone has to do something.

What can be done about abuse, stalking, child endangerment and the like? WJBC.com’s article suggests some pretty good tips for approaching the issue in a non-confrontational manner. For example, as the article states, you can say something like this:

“You know I really care a lot about you. I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you’ve noticed – for example, the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask — are you safe in your relationship?”
Really, that last part is true—it is better for someone to be mad at you than to be endangered and feel like they have nowhere to turn.

And, if your loved one should tell you they are fine, as the article says, you can say something like, “Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren’t OK, I want you to know my door is always open.”

And you may also want to add, “And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?”

Ideally, this will assuage the assumption that you are accusing anyone, and make them realizing that you are coming from a place of concern and care.

View the full article here.